Yup, so I went to the doctor about two weeks ago because one of my beauty marks (moles) on my face started to bleed for no reason, and then it started changing/growing. Then, the one by my eye started changing shape.
Once the doctor looked at them - he said without a beat, "Yup, those are coming off." I said, "Wow, really? Just like that?" He said, "Just to be safe, I am going to call the plastic surgeon, and schedule you to get those off." .... So, there it was. The doc was nervous about them enough, to tell me to get them off. Which made me nervous. He was willing to call someone to cut my face open, because of the possibility of them being cancerous. So, the one by my eye, and the bigger one above my lip have to go. I get to keep my favorite one - the smaller one above my lip.
Which brings us to the present. Yesterday, I went to the surgeon. I was super nervous, and literally sick to my stomach. Just before going in, I was lying there in the bed on wheels, and that is when the nurse told me... "You have to go in alone, not with your husband." I'm like, WHAT? I need someone to hold my hand and tell me everything is going to be alright!! I started praying immediately, again. I just prayed, "Wow, Jesus, please go in there with me; I am so scared. I am going to be all alone. I need someone to take this pain away by comforting me. Since my husband won't be there, can you please take his place physically for me? Can you please hold my hand - and calm my nerves? Can you please be with that doctor - and lead him and his knife and stitching?" I felt more at ease while praying.
As they wheeled me into the operating room, it became more real. This was really happening. Bill is literally not going in there with me. How am I going to do this without him holding my hand? I started crying. Then I started thinking, well - I shouldn't be leaning on Bill. I should be leaning on God. God is there all the time. When Bill can't be there, God can.
So, there I was on the table - it was JUST like in the movies. They hooked this wire thing to my leg, put one of those pressure things on my arm, and then clipped the thing on my finger (sorry about the non-technical terms - ha!). And there it was... My heart beat was loud enough so everyone could hear how fast or slow it was beating. The doctor said something about what kind of knife he needed, and my heartbeat was going so fast, and the doc was like, "I can tell you are nervous!" I'm like, "Duh!" Then, they did the local anesthetic to the one area and it felt like the worst wasp stings over and over - like five or six times. I bawled my eyes out. Then to the next spot, another five or six shots. Another big cry. Okay, so I was numb to the pain, but not to the vibrations and the tugging. I could feel every bit of the movement the doc was doing - and the tugging of the stitching. Terrible. I then silently cried out to God! Help!! I need to be comforted by touch from you, God - and I need comforting words... PLEASE!!!! ... Next thing I knew, one of the nurse's I didn't even know was in there... She touched my foot, and rubbed it, and said, "Janette, you are doing great, everything will be okay, everything will be okay."
God used her. To comfort me. Amazing.
Next thing I knew, I was out of surgery. I have tape on my face in two places. I will find out the results on if they were cancerous or not in about a couple of weeks. I will keep everyone updated. Either way, I know God has me in His hands. His plans are perfect, and I just thank Him everyday for giving me the life I have now.
The biggest lesson from this experience is that we CAN count on God. When unexpected things happen in life, God is the only constant. It was a curveball that Bill wasn't allowed to go into surgery with me, but God was present - and took care of me - how I needed to be taken care of. It was a surprise that my beauty marks looked like they could be cancer, but God is faithful. I know that I am in His hands. I know that God is faithful to take care of His children.
Philippians 4:6
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Jeremiah 29:11-13
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'"
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
so many decisions, so many questions...
Wow. I haven't blogged in a very long time. Part of it, is because I have been very busy. But, to be honest, the majority of the reason, is because I haven't had the best attitude - I'll admit it.
Now that my attitude has shifted (for the better), I'm going to be sharing with you what my heart has been going through - the ups and downs - of the past month or so.
Alright, so at the beginning of this month (without getting into too much detail), my husband and I were told that some of the help that we have been getting (monetary wise) would be ending by the end of this month. Meaning, we only had one month to figure out how to either fund this obligation, or we would have to relocate some things.
At first, we were in shock. There was no way we could: 1) pay for this or 2) have the time to move it all - since we both are working crazy hours and opposite shifts. We were drowning fast. We prayed for help, and again, God provided relief. On top of that, God provided a second, flexible job for me - to make some extra money to maybe pay off student loans quicker - or possibly help pay for a place to live on our own again.
So with that "worry" out of the way, naturally brings other uncertainties. My husband and I have been talking about either renting an apartment, renting a house, renting to own a house, or actually purchase a house. So many decisions! Although, monetarily speaking, not really. It always will depend on how God provides for us, because we surely can't do any of these on our own.
So, here is one of the kickers. Both of us do not want to live in this area for much longer. Does God want us here for a reason? Is that why we are living in his parents' basement right now? To make sure we stay here and not miss out on what He has planned for us here? Could this all be a part of God's master plan?
If that is the case, should we rent an apartment or is that just a money waster? Or should we actually look to buy a house? Would that be stupid? Or would that be putting trust in God that we are listening to Him to stay here in this area for now? What if God opens something up somewhere else right after we buy a house? What if we are stuck paying on that house and have to move somewhere else? What if??
AH!
SO. MANY. DECISIONS. SO. MANY. QUESTIONS.
If you want to know a little more about me. I hate making decisions about big things. I like choosing where to eat out. I even like choosing what kind of shoes I'll wear for the day. Those are easy. But where to live? Oh my goodness, instant heart attack. It is almost like a little part of me thinks that I am going to screw something up if I don't hear God's direction clearly. And see, right there, I know that if I hear God's direction, that I would not be second guessing anything. But naturally, my instinct always second guesses everything. It is terrible - but it's true. Am I listening to God's voice and direction when it comes to big things? Or am I letting my fears of what could happen overpower God's voice?
After asking all of those questions up there, my husband and I went over to one of his uncle's. His uncle could not have put it in better words, "You're here now. If you end up buying a house that is affordable, live here until you're called to something else. God will take care of the rest."
Seriously, wow. Love that. It scares me though. That means I have to trust for God to provide in everything, even help with selling a house if that's the case.
It is so hard, because if you know me... you know that over everything, I want to be where God wants us. I do not care where he is telling us to go... or stay... I will be on board. If God wants us here, then BY God, we will be here, and He will provide. If God wants us to move out of this area, then I am up for that too, and I will go wherever He tells us to go. At this point in my journey, I'm waiting on God to make it clear to me where He will have us go... or stay. If He wants us to move away from this area, I pray that He opens something up for the both of us - and it is clear to us - that it is time to move on.
*** Lord, I put these difficult decisions in Your hands. I have no clue what to do, but I am willing to do whatever You ask of me. I pray that wherever my husband and I are meant to go - that You would have us on the same page, and that we agree in all the details. We want what You want, and we trust that You will make this decision clear to us. In Jesus' name, Amen. ***
Isaiah 6:8
"Then I heard the Lord asking, 'Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?' I said, 'Here I am. Send me.'"
Job 8:5-7
"But if you pray to God and seek the favor of the Almighty, and if you are pure and live with integrity, he will surely rise up and restore your happy home. And though you started with little, you will end with much."
Monday, April 15, 2013
trapped and strapped...
Trapped.
This is the most common feeling I have felt the past six months - and it is a dangerous feeling to have. It consumes my every thought and action. The thought of being trapped only makes me feel even more trapped. It causes me to have doubts. It causes me to have impatience. It causes dissension. It causes hate. It causes discontentment. It causes anger and resentment.
Some background on my husband and I - if you do not already know. I am in a job that causes unneeded stress (sales goals, etc.) - my husband and I are living with our in-laws (not by choice, obviously) - we have a dog (whom we love, but is big - so she may not be accepted in an apartment even if we were to be able to move out) - Bill, my husband, lost his job last year and is now working part-time somewhere - and all of this with the ghost of 50K of student loan debt still owed.
We were making ends meet - tithing to God first always - being able to pay on student loans - being able to pay on my car. We were surviving. And God was (and is still) blessing for our necessities.
Yesterday - we found out that we owed money on our taxes. The savings that we were able to save up - gone.
Trapped.
The ground that we were making up - gone.
Even more trapped.
This feeling of being trapped. Trapped living with his parents. Strapped with money.
You know, the hardest thing of it all? It is not trusting that God will provide our needs - that is actually the easy part. God has always provided enough to stay afloat. The hardest part is to actually believe that we will ever make enough to get on our own again - maybe buy a house - maybe have a kid - maybe get the desires of our heart. You see, I trust that God will provide our needs in whatever stage of life we are in. The hard part is believing that God will overflow with blessings when we are faithful to Him. And honestly - that is my problem. Do I not trust that God wants to bless us with our desires of our heart, too?
God WANTS to overflow His blessings on His children. He wants me to trust that He CAN and WILL do it. Maybe in my heart, I have a hard time believing he cares about the desires of my heart. Maybe a little part in my heart, is thinking that God will only, always do the minimum for me and my husband.
Wow. I cannot believe that I would think that. Thinking that God would only do the minimum.
Honestly - I don't think I'm the only one who thinks this either.
Is the God you serve big or small? Is He capable to give you your desires that line up with His Will or not? I mean, seriously people - (and I am talking to myself when I say this) - GOD IS ABLE. GOD BLESSES. Above and beyond than what we could ever imagine!
I need to get out of this "trapped" mindset. The only reason why I feel trapped, is because I put myself there. I am not really trapped - if I would choose to trust that God wants to not only provide for our needs, but also for our desires of our hearts too! Don't get trapped! Don't be afraid that your situation may never end! Trust that God cares about your desires that line up with His Will for your life. Trust that you don't need to feel trapped. God does not trap - He sets free. Only if you let Him.
Psalm 37:4
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalm 37:5
"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act."
Proverbs 16:1-3
"The plans of the heart belong to man,
This is the most common feeling I have felt the past six months - and it is a dangerous feeling to have. It consumes my every thought and action. The thought of being trapped only makes me feel even more trapped. It causes me to have doubts. It causes me to have impatience. It causes dissension. It causes hate. It causes discontentment. It causes anger and resentment.
Some background on my husband and I - if you do not already know. I am in a job that causes unneeded stress (sales goals, etc.) - my husband and I are living with our in-laws (not by choice, obviously) - we have a dog (whom we love, but is big - so she may not be accepted in an apartment even if we were to be able to move out) - Bill, my husband, lost his job last year and is now working part-time somewhere - and all of this with the ghost of 50K of student loan debt still owed.
We were making ends meet - tithing to God first always - being able to pay on student loans - being able to pay on my car. We were surviving. And God was (and is still) blessing for our necessities.
Yesterday - we found out that we owed money on our taxes. The savings that we were able to save up - gone.
Trapped.
The ground that we were making up - gone.
Even more trapped.
This feeling of being trapped. Trapped living with his parents. Strapped with money.
You know, the hardest thing of it all? It is not trusting that God will provide our needs - that is actually the easy part. God has always provided enough to stay afloat. The hardest part is to actually believe that we will ever make enough to get on our own again - maybe buy a house - maybe have a kid - maybe get the desires of our heart. You see, I trust that God will provide our needs in whatever stage of life we are in. The hard part is believing that God will overflow with blessings when we are faithful to Him. And honestly - that is my problem. Do I not trust that God wants to bless us with our desires of our heart, too?
God WANTS to overflow His blessings on His children. He wants me to trust that He CAN and WILL do it. Maybe in my heart, I have a hard time believing he cares about the desires of my heart. Maybe a little part in my heart, is thinking that God will only, always do the minimum for me and my husband.
Wow. I cannot believe that I would think that. Thinking that God would only do the minimum.
Honestly - I don't think I'm the only one who thinks this either.
Is the God you serve big or small? Is He capable to give you your desires that line up with His Will or not? I mean, seriously people - (and I am talking to myself when I say this) - GOD IS ABLE. GOD BLESSES. Above and beyond than what we could ever imagine!
I need to get out of this "trapped" mindset. The only reason why I feel trapped, is because I put myself there. I am not really trapped - if I would choose to trust that God wants to not only provide for our needs, but also for our desires of our hearts too! Don't get trapped! Don't be afraid that your situation may never end! Trust that God cares about your desires that line up with His Will for your life. Trust that you don't need to feel trapped. God does not trap - He sets free. Only if you let Him.
Psalm 37:4
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalm 37:5
"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act."
Proverbs 16:1-3
"The plans of the heart belong to man,
All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes,
Commit your work to the Lord,
Saturday, April 6, 2013
does trust affect everything?
You know, I've been thinking about this a lot.
Trust is so much more complicated than everyone makes it out to be. Isn't it? Or is it?
I've been baffled many times with trust. Sometimes it is super easy, and more often than not, it is so difficult - to the point of wanting to hide away from everyone. To the point of, why would I put myself in a situation where I'm not in control of my own emotional fate? Why would I put my trust in someone or something when I don't know the outcome? Would my trust in that someone or something be worth it in the end?
I don't know about you, but trust is the hardest thing to do naturally for me, now. It seems that I have changed over the years - let me explain. When I was a child, I remember pinky promising constantly with my girl friends, and we NEVER broke promises. Actually, I am still holding a secret that one of my friends told me in second grade, because that is what I said I would do. She entrusted me with her secret, and I respected her by never telling another soul. Still. Fast forward to junior high school, I chose to trust someone [no names], and that someone hurt me. And actually, that situation and countless other situations, were just the beginning of my downward spiral of un-trust. That molded who I was for a long time. I then began a lifestyle of "well, if I can't trust you, which is highly likely, then I will never let you know the true me, since people like you have hurt me before." This began my "I'm keeping you at a distance for a reason" attitude. I didn't want to get hurt. Ever again. Not on my watch. It's the "I'm not gracing you with the ability to hurt me" attitude. "I'm not being dooped again" attitude. "I'm not letting you know me and my hurts, because I have been made fun of for that before, and I'm not risking you judging me for that same reason" attitude.
If you asked my family, "when Janette dated a guy, before she met her now husband, did she stay true to who she was?" They will flat out say, "Nope, she molded to whoever she was with. She didn't know who she was. She was a chameleon."
And that was partially true. If that guy liked a certain type of music, I liked that certain type of music. If they liked sports, I liked sports. If they loved cars, I loved cars. I was the type to mold to whoever was around me. And why was that? It was because I did not want to be made fun of for being different. I wanted to be liked. I wanted to be what they wanted. I wanted to be wanted. The sad thing is, I knew who I was deep down. I just wanted to be someone different. Junior high comments to me [and there was a lot of them - all negative and degrading], made me not feel "up to par" with what the world said I should be or look like. So, why should I trust someone to actually want to be around me, or for that matter, actually want... me?
You are probably wondering, what the heck does that have to do with anything? Let me tell you. It has everything to do with everything. I was not okay trusting anyone with... me. I am a complicated creature, and I was not okay with entrusting anyone with... me. Who could handle me? I'm a handful, so why would I be worth anyone's time? How could I trust anyone to like or love me for who I actually was? This affected every single one of my relationships, girl friends too.
It all boiled down to - I just was not good enough or worth it. Things in my past had molded me into thinking, "I am just not worth it. I'm just not worth being looked at. If people have chosen to hurt me, then I am not worth it, and I will be hurt in the same way again if I choose to trust again. I just won't trust anyone. That way, I won't be dooped again." Whether it be people who had hurt me in the past, or situations where I just knew that giving up my control would cause more strife... That is where my un-trust had been coming from.
Me. Me not being able to accept that I was perfect in God's image. Those mean words from people were taking precedence over what God was saying about me.
Psalm 139:13-16
"13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be."
I had chosen to not trust who God made me to be. To not believe that I was beautiful in His image. To not believe that he created my frame. To believe that I was not worth looking at, because of how there are women out there being paid to be looked at and pursued. Victoria's Secret models. Kate Winslet (Rose) in Titantic. Catherine McCormack (Murron) in Braveheart. Eva Mendes (Sara) in Hitch. That those women are worth it, since they have "actual" beautiful bodies, that they are pursued. I had chosen to believe that since I was "skinny," and have been labeled "tiny" and "stick" my whole life, that I had no features that would attract anyone [yes, I have been told that in the past, sad huh?] - I chose to believe that. People in my past had branded those words in my head. "Skinny" and "Tiny." And always has a negative. Women say, "Gosh I would love to have your problem!" "I would love to be you!" "I would love to not be able to gain weight!" But you see, they don't see from my perspective. They have only seen it from the other perspective. But ladies, I am here to tell you - all of us are struggling with the same issue. Whether it be, that we have "too much" or "too little." ...we are all being fed lies. These lies affect our trust life.
The lie of society. Saying that we are just not good enough. Well, we ARE. God has told us time and time again, that our bodies ARE beautiful, and we ARE beautifully and wonderfully made. And we ARE worth it. Do not let ANYONE lie to you. God is the ultimate creator. He doesn't create ugly. Just doesn't do it. He is perfect. Whatever He touches is perfect. He has touched you by giving you life. Whether you believe in God or not, He still was the one who created you - and your beautiful physique. Your beautiful face. Your pretty smile.
Which brings me back to trust. It DOES affect everything. If you are feeling unhappy with how people are treating you, your trust somewhere, somehow has been affected or will be affected. And trust is impervious to growing as a woman. You either trust that God has created you beautiful, or you don't. You either trust that God will provide for your every need, or you don't. Trust is essential to having a relationship blossom. If you aren't close to God, that's not His fault - it's yours. You are choosing to not trust in Him and what He offers. Same as this, you either trust that your husband loves you, or you don't. If you keep accusing him, that relationship will be strained - and it will grow stagnant - and maybe fall apart. Yes, it is the guy's responsibility to show you that he loves you and that you are his princess - and it's his responsibility to stay faithful [I'm not watering that down], but it is always your responsibility to show you trust him - it's a form of respect. He will naturally fall more in love with you, when you show you trust him. That is why you married him in the first place, right? You saw that he was someone you could trust. And why do you choose the friends you have? It is because you can trust them with your whole heart. Do you see where I'm going with this?
Trust is powerful. Trust is in your hands to give it up, be afraid of, or to embrace. Give up that control you crave. Give up that fear you have, that someone will always hurt you. Yes, sad to say, people can hurt you. Husbands have the capability to cheat - and marriages can end because of it. But DO NOT let that control you. Or your trust in the future. God is faithful - that is what matters. Taking that hurt, and recognizing it - and forgiving - and letting it go - and TRUST that no matter what... God hears you. God cares. God is trustworthy. God loves you. And you can TRUST that God will never leave you.
Trust begins with God. When you fully put your trust in God, He will provide the rest. When you begin to trust Him, He'll let you know what is safe to trust and what is not. The truth will be revealed if you let Him.
Psalm 56:3
"When I am afraid, I will trust in you."
Trust is so much more complicated than everyone makes it out to be. Isn't it? Or is it?
I've been baffled many times with trust. Sometimes it is super easy, and more often than not, it is so difficult - to the point of wanting to hide away from everyone. To the point of, why would I put myself in a situation where I'm not in control of my own emotional fate? Why would I put my trust in someone or something when I don't know the outcome? Would my trust in that someone or something be worth it in the end?
I don't know about you, but trust is the hardest thing to do naturally for me, now. It seems that I have changed over the years - let me explain. When I was a child, I remember pinky promising constantly with my girl friends, and we NEVER broke promises. Actually, I am still holding a secret that one of my friends told me in second grade, because that is what I said I would do. She entrusted me with her secret, and I respected her by never telling another soul. Still. Fast forward to junior high school, I chose to trust someone [no names], and that someone hurt me. And actually, that situation and countless other situations, were just the beginning of my downward spiral of un-trust. That molded who I was for a long time. I then began a lifestyle of "well, if I can't trust you, which is highly likely, then I will never let you know the true me, since people like you have hurt me before." This began my "I'm keeping you at a distance for a reason" attitude. I didn't want to get hurt. Ever again. Not on my watch. It's the "I'm not gracing you with the ability to hurt me" attitude. "I'm not being dooped again" attitude. "I'm not letting you know me and my hurts, because I have been made fun of for that before, and I'm not risking you judging me for that same reason" attitude.
If you asked my family, "when Janette dated a guy, before she met her now husband, did she stay true to who she was?" They will flat out say, "Nope, she molded to whoever she was with. She didn't know who she was. She was a chameleon."
And that was partially true. If that guy liked a certain type of music, I liked that certain type of music. If they liked sports, I liked sports. If they loved cars, I loved cars. I was the type to mold to whoever was around me. And why was that? It was because I did not want to be made fun of for being different. I wanted to be liked. I wanted to be what they wanted. I wanted to be wanted. The sad thing is, I knew who I was deep down. I just wanted to be someone different. Junior high comments to me [and there was a lot of them - all negative and degrading], made me not feel "up to par" with what the world said I should be or look like. So, why should I trust someone to actually want to be around me, or for that matter, actually want... me?
You are probably wondering, what the heck does that have to do with anything? Let me tell you. It has everything to do with everything. I was not okay trusting anyone with... me. I am a complicated creature, and I was not okay with entrusting anyone with... me. Who could handle me? I'm a handful, so why would I be worth anyone's time? How could I trust anyone to like or love me for who I actually was? This affected every single one of my relationships, girl friends too.
It all boiled down to - I just was not good enough or worth it. Things in my past had molded me into thinking, "I am just not worth it. I'm just not worth being looked at. If people have chosen to hurt me, then I am not worth it, and I will be hurt in the same way again if I choose to trust again. I just won't trust anyone. That way, I won't be dooped again." Whether it be people who had hurt me in the past, or situations where I just knew that giving up my control would cause more strife... That is where my un-trust had been coming from.
Me. Me not being able to accept that I was perfect in God's image. Those mean words from people were taking precedence over what God was saying about me.
Psalm 139:13-16
"13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be."
I had chosen to not trust who God made me to be. To not believe that I was beautiful in His image. To not believe that he created my frame. To believe that I was not worth looking at, because of how there are women out there being paid to be looked at and pursued. Victoria's Secret models. Kate Winslet (Rose) in Titantic. Catherine McCormack (Murron) in Braveheart. Eva Mendes (Sara) in Hitch. That those women are worth it, since they have "actual" beautiful bodies, that they are pursued. I had chosen to believe that since I was "skinny," and have been labeled "tiny" and "stick" my whole life, that I had no features that would attract anyone [yes, I have been told that in the past, sad huh?] - I chose to believe that. People in my past had branded those words in my head. "Skinny" and "Tiny." And always has a negative. Women say, "Gosh I would love to have your problem!" "I would love to be you!" "I would love to not be able to gain weight!" But you see, they don't see from my perspective. They have only seen it from the other perspective. But ladies, I am here to tell you - all of us are struggling with the same issue. Whether it be, that we have "too much" or "too little." ...we are all being fed lies. These lies affect our trust life.
The lie of society. Saying that we are just not good enough. Well, we ARE. God has told us time and time again, that our bodies ARE beautiful, and we ARE beautifully and wonderfully made. And we ARE worth it. Do not let ANYONE lie to you. God is the ultimate creator. He doesn't create ugly. Just doesn't do it. He is perfect. Whatever He touches is perfect. He has touched you by giving you life. Whether you believe in God or not, He still was the one who created you - and your beautiful physique. Your beautiful face. Your pretty smile.
Which brings me back to trust. It DOES affect everything. If you are feeling unhappy with how people are treating you, your trust somewhere, somehow has been affected or will be affected. And trust is impervious to growing as a woman. You either trust that God has created you beautiful, or you don't. You either trust that God will provide for your every need, or you don't. Trust is essential to having a relationship blossom. If you aren't close to God, that's not His fault - it's yours. You are choosing to not trust in Him and what He offers. Same as this, you either trust that your husband loves you, or you don't. If you keep accusing him, that relationship will be strained - and it will grow stagnant - and maybe fall apart. Yes, it is the guy's responsibility to show you that he loves you and that you are his princess - and it's his responsibility to stay faithful [I'm not watering that down], but it is always your responsibility to show you trust him - it's a form of respect. He will naturally fall more in love with you, when you show you trust him. That is why you married him in the first place, right? You saw that he was someone you could trust. And why do you choose the friends you have? It is because you can trust them with your whole heart. Do you see where I'm going with this?
Trust is powerful. Trust is in your hands to give it up, be afraid of, or to embrace. Give up that control you crave. Give up that fear you have, that someone will always hurt you. Yes, sad to say, people can hurt you. Husbands have the capability to cheat - and marriages can end because of it. But DO NOT let that control you. Or your trust in the future. God is faithful - that is what matters. Taking that hurt, and recognizing it - and forgiving - and letting it go - and TRUST that no matter what... God hears you. God cares. God is trustworthy. God loves you. And you can TRUST that God will never leave you.
Trust begins with God. When you fully put your trust in God, He will provide the rest. When you begin to trust Him, He'll let you know what is safe to trust and what is not. The truth will be revealed if you let Him.
Psalm 56:3
"When I am afraid, I will trust in you."
Thursday, April 4, 2013
the lies HAVE to stop!
Alright, ladies... it is finally here. A blog for us.
The things we women go through. Hardships. Trials. Hurts. Lies. Trust issues. Lost friendships. Abuse. Neglect. Feeling alone.
The things we put ourselves through. The lies we believe. The trials we just cannot pull ourselves through. The hurts we cannot seem to let go. Not fully trusting, and thinking it is healthy while it lasts. The pushing away of people, because you just assume they will hurt you like someone else has hurt you in the past. The uncertainties. The bitterness. The self-loathing. The resentment.
This just has to stop!
The lies HAVE to stop. They have to, or you cannot function for very long, if at all. I know this for a fact. You are going to run yourself dry, but feel like you are drowning, all at the same time.
This blog is going to concentrate on all of these topics in different ways. Who is ready to dive into this with me?
If you are a woman, and if you have ever been affected by any of what was mentioned above - then this blog is for you. Take this journey with me, so we can uncover truth beneath those lies.
Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.
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